The Adventures of Joan Jettstarr.
The Adventures of Joan Jettstarr.
An IronAge.Media prompt - The Canteen.
For the conception of Joan Jettstarr, read another Iron Age prompt here.
The contorted world of a galaxy of stars rights itself, as a ship comes out of hyper space. The Quintus, a quantum intelligence module, strapped to turbo thrusters and a sentry cannon that has seen more action than any dime pulp. Stalwart companion to his pilot, the courageous and sassy, Joan Jettstarr, explorer of the nine kingdoms, and her trusty side kick, Andreas, Jr space cadet from the Andromeda Galaxy.
They have come to the outskirts of the Centaurus galaxy because it’s here in the backwaters of the cosmos that a particular canteen is reputed to house the vilest, back stabbing, scum there is on offer. ‘The Void’ they name it, the name sounds apt to Joan as it is here, she is on contract for a bounty of Riptar, a cybernetically enhanced sgt in arms of the space pirates. With the aid of Quintus, Joan was able to track Riptar to this precise galaxy and coordinates.
Joan enables the docking sequence of Quintus and checks her equipment, then she turns to Andreas who is readying himself along side her.
“Andreas, I’m going in there alone, this is no place for a child.”
Andreas pouts and huffs. “But Joan, I can help. Remember when we were on the planet Akulon 6 and we were being chased by many, many Akuloids, I saved us!”
Joan giggles. “It was my memory that you awoke the Akuloids from their cocoons in the first place. Besides, you will be safe here with Quintus.”
“But…”
Joan put on a stern face. “No buts Andreas, you will listen this time you hear.
Andreas crosses his arms. “No fair.”
Joan inputs commands into Quintus. “Quintus can you hear me?”
A kindly, synthesised male voice emits inside the cockpit. “Yes, Joan.”
“Quintus, I have told Andreas he is not to leave this ship under any circumstance. When I exit the cockpit, you are not to let him out no matter how much he begs or schemes.”
“I understand Joan.”
“Good.”
Joan exits the ship, and as soon as she touches the deck of that floating barge, that is the canteen, Quintus immediately locks the cockpit. Joan taps the nose of the shuttle as she leaves for the main building.
When she gets to the door, Joan finds that a huge Snarlak is the bouncer, these grey, pig nosed, brutes are known to pull humans limb from limb, and as Joan approaches, the Snarlak immediately readies itself. Joan doesn’t stop one step in her stride, she pulls out her blaster and shoots the beast once in the foot. This only manages to make the Snarlak even more angry, so Joan blasts it twice in the chest and pushes it out into deep space.
So much for being quiet.
When she gets inside, the canteen is sparsely populated. Two suspect Randorians are sitting in the corner stall, while a Gammamon serves drinks to a lupinus. Scanning the room further, Joan finds her quarry sitting by himself at the bar, Riptar the velociraptor.
All of the Space Pirates are some sort of genetically altered Dinosaur, but this one, Riptar, is one of the baddest, wanted in all the nine kingdoms, those who are on the other side of his razor-sharp cyber claws, are often never seen again.
Joan takes up a spot at the bar next to Riptar. She signals at the Gammaman, bar tender for a drink. Sipping her triple distilled valerian ale, she turns to Riptar who is already staring at her.
Riptar seethes through the slits in his eyes as he stares at Joan. “The gall you have, woman. Half the scum in here has avoided my presence and gaze, yet here you are.”
Joan drains her valerian ale. “Here I am… You see, I’m here for information, I’m Joan Jettstarr.”
Riptar’s eyes widen at the name, he slowly reaches to his side for his blaster. “You’re not just any woman. You’re brave to show your face here.”
“Ain’t no bravery in it. You’re wanted in all nine kingdoms, and I have come to collect.”
Joan barely had a chance to finish her sentence when Riptar shot his blaster, barely missing Joan. Joan jumps behind the bar, where the Gammaman is cowering in fear. The scattered remnants of customers flee the bar leaving only Joan and Riptar in their deadly dance.
Riptar shoots wildly around him. “Woman, if you’re here for my head, you’ll find it a costly price.”
Joan shoots blindly from behind the bar as Riptar takes up shelter behind an upturned table.
“Your kind seldom come quiet; it seems to be my lot in life.” Joan says, as she fires more shots blindly.
Joan knows she must get closer to Riptar but he has her pinned down. Joan spots the Gammaman trying to crawl to safety when inspiration strikes her and she grabs the Gammaman by his collars and hurtles him at Riptar, disrupting his shooting spree and giving Joan time to jump the counter, draw her plasma blade, and take to Riptar’s throat.
Meanwhile…
In the ship, Andreas fidgets with random buttons, trying the get the cockpit lock to open. With each push, Andreas gets more frustrated, but no less determined.
“C’mon Quintus, Joan is going to need my help, she’s in danger” Andreas said.
In his calm synthesised voice, Quintus responds. “Negative, young Andreas. I am under strict orders to not let you out of this ship.”
“Bah, I’ve seen her do it a hundred times…”
Finally in all his wild searching, Andreas pushes a sequence that lights up the main display of the ship.
Andreas is surprised when he can see the front of the canteen. “Quintus, can you help me see inside?”
“I can hack into the canteen security cameras Andreas, but what good will it do?”
“Please just do it.”
Microseconds pass and Quintus successfully hacking into the canteen mainframe. On the main display of the ship, Andreas witnesses Joan fighting with Riptar.
Joan has her plasma blade at Riptar’s throat, with all her weight she tries to bring the blade through the roof of his thick skull. But Riptar is too strong. Even though Joan managed to disarm Riptar of his blaster, his cybernetic implants of his arms and legs have given him superior strength. With Joan on top of his, Riptar kicks her off of him, sending her hurtling into the bar stools.
Riptar the raptor stands and brandishes his sharp cyber claw. “Let’s relieve you of some of your appendages, shall we?”
Joan is too slow to pull her blaster, Riptar leaps at her with vile intent, pinning her on the floor gaining the mastery. Inches away from her stomach, Riptar slices with a surgeon’s precision, ripping Joans flight suit. In desperate peril, Joan writhes and manages to force Riptar off her and get back to her feet.
The two circle each other, blades drawn. Sweat starts to bead on Joan’s head.
Riptar grins, flashing his equally sharp teeth. “You’re sweating, woman. Tired already?”
Joan stares at Riptar, intent. “Please… Why don’t you make this easier on us both and come over quiet?
Upon hearing Joan’s ridiculous request, Riptar’s eyes widen, and he leaps at Joan.
Joan slashes wildly with her plasma blade, scoring at hit, slicing one of Riptar’s enhanced claws from his feet. However, Riptar is back on top of Joan and attempts to take bites from her throat.
Joan tries to reach for her blaster, but it is no longer in its holster and halfway across the room.
In the cockpit…
Andreas stares at the main display, witnessing the battle between Joan and Riptar. “Quintus, do you see this? Riptar has her, Joan is done for!”
Quintus scans the canteen room. “My sensors tell me there is no way for Joan to get out of this situation, Andreas. The is no one inside to help her and there are no more weapons at her disposal.”
“There’s always a way, Quintus. Let me take control of the sentry cannons.” Andreas pleads.
“Young Andreas, I could give you control of the cannon, but if you were to miss…”
“I know… Just do it!
The controls in front of Andreas light up, and he takes the stick for the sentry cannons.
“Quintus, lay out a grid, isolating both Joan and Riptar.”
“Done, young Andreas.”
Inside the canteen, Joan is at a loss of what to do, the superior strength of this sentient dinosaur, saps her of energy as each second passes.
“It’s almost time… I’ve got you woma…”
BLAM, BLAM.
In the nick of time, two shots come screaming in through the walls of the canteen, putting two massive holes through the body of Riptar, who now lies toppled over Joan, taking his last breaths.
Joan pushes the dying body of Riptar off her and gets to her feet, looking over Riptar’s carcass.
“Before I take your head, villain, tell me where is the secret base of Tyrannus Rex?”
Riptar coughs up blood, staring into the eyes of Joan, wondering how she could possibly get the better of him. “Th…the Delta Nebula… There is an asteroid there unlike any other asteroid, it is there that Tyrannus has his… ugh…
Dead.
Joan takes the head of Riptar and slowly walks back to her ship a little worse for wear. At the ship, Andreas, looks smugly at Joan with his arms at his side.
“So, you didn’t need my help, huh?”
Joan breaks down in laughter. “You did good, Andreas.
The two buckle themselves into the cockpit of Quintus the flying quantum computer and take off again, to adventures far out of this galaxy and beyond!
Quintus’ synthesised voice enquires to Joan. “Miss Jettstarr, where to now?”
“To the Delta Nebula, Quintus.”
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